Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
