i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Pooping to opera.
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