Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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