I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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