Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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