What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
