is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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