Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
