The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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