apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
