Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
