Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
