I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
