My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
