i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
