i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
