i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
