Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
