Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
