i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
