Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
