Swine flu. Run for my life!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
