Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
