I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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