I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I'm really busy with my period
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