I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
