I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
