I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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