Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
