I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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