So drunk its hurt
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
