We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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