so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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