You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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