It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he was CRYING into my vagina
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
