Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
