i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
