just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Shame is for Republicans.
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