We named our party play list daddy issues
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
