we're blogging at a bar
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
