I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
