i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
