but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
