kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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