To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
