My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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