no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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