I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize