I think my vagina is haunted
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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