Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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